One minute man – a label given to a man because he reaches orgasm and emits semen just before or shortly after starting sexual intercourse; many times, in less than a minute, a time not enough to get the woman to orgasm. In other words, a one minute man is the man who ejaculates quickly, even before the woman removes her panties.
Sex is work, especially for the one riding – the one thrusting. In a minute, you thrust in and out about 85 to 100 times. That’s like doing a hundred push ups. Multiply that by 10 or 60 minutes. That’s enough to cause backache. Unlike the deception going on on social media, a normal sex, for the lack of a better term, (thrusting in and out of penis into the vagina) lasts between 3 minutes to 7 minutes in the first round, between 5 minutes to 15 minutes in the second round with the third round lasting slightly more than the second round. Any man who tells you he did one hour straight must be on some kind of drugs. And any woman who lays down for one hour of thrusting in and out, mehn! I have no words.
That being said, what really matters during sex is not how many minutes or hours you spend, but whether the time is enough to get your spouse to climax – whether it is enough to satisfy both of you. If your intercourse lasts two minutes and you and your spouse are adequately satisfied, there is no problem. But if you finish much sooner while your spouse hasn’t even started, then there is a serious issue to be addressed as a matter of urgency. So, the matter of satisfactory sex is subjective. Its interpretation lies on you and your spouse.
Fear, anxiety, masturbation and inexperience are among the many factors that can cause quick ejaculation. In many cases, quick ejaculation is not a sign of a serious health problem. It’s more of a psychological and behavioural problem. Therefore, as a ‘ minute man’, you whose spouse complains endlessly about not enjoying sex, you need to speak with a therapist, psychologist or a behavioural change coach so he can help your mind, which is the greatest sexual organ.
Nevertheless, before you see any of the aforementioned professionals, here are a few thoughts that can help you satisfy your spouse:
Every part of your body is a sexual organ. As such, it must be used without hesitation. Sex isn’t great when only one spouse gets the satisfaction. Sex can only be great when there’s enough ‘oohing’, ‘ahhhing’, ‘go harder’, ‘slowly’, ‘harder’ and all those plenty sexual tongues.
Bearing this in mind, begin the art of sexual intercourse with enough foreplay. Use your legs, tongues, lips, virtually any part of your body. Play with the breast; rub your fingers in between her thighs.
See, your fingers and mouth are weapons of mass destruction. There’s nothing wrong in using that mouth, which you use to sing praise and worship, to get your wife to speak in different languages during sex as nothing wrong lies in pressing the keyboard keys in your wife’s clitoris and G-spot. With your mouth and fingers, you can get your spouse to the seventh heaven. Gently play with her breasts. But, do respect those beautiful wonders made by God. Handle them with care while moving to that pearly gate of bliss secured by the clitoris and G-spot. Play around this gate so much with every sexual organ in your body. What you do around this gate determines how satisfactory sex will be for your spouse.
While you are making her ‘oh and eh and ah’, watch your own body. As she touches you, learn to practice the stop-start method: a technique where as you are almost reaching orgasm as a result of her touch, you stop her while you continue to take her to the heavens with your other sexual organs but allow her to start stimulating you again as the feeling of orgasm goes away. However, please, rebuke any devil that tells you to insert your penis in her vagina until she tells you she’s there or almost there.
Communication is key during sex. Listen to her body language. If you are hitting it right, you will know. You can get her to the height of excitement even before you penetrate. If she’s satisfied with the wonders of your fingers and mouth, she will be the one to ask for the breakthrough that your penis will bring. As such, by the time you are in for 40 seconds or one minute, you will have given her multiple orgasms. By the time all these are done, you would have spent at least 20 to 30 minutes doing spiritual wonders. When you are done with the first round, start again. This time, however, it takes a little time to get erect. Take this time to navigate your way through her body. You can take her to that height again while you are just warming up.
If you do this, you will have spent one hour doing miraculous things without worrying about doing enough. And when you are done, when she gives that satisfactory sound, hit her butts and tell her that was a five star performance. Tease her to see if she wants more and talk about how you can be even better.
To the wife, don’t compare your husband to that dude in a pornographic film. Don’t expect him to do what you see pornographers do.
The acts you watch in pornography aren’t real and will only destroy your mind.
Sex gets better as you continue to understand your spouse’s body. Great sex doesn’t just happen. Great sex is learnt. It is done intentionally. It comes when spouses understand their bodies. It comes with communication before, during and after sex.
Sex is a beautiful thing. It is something to be totally enjoyed as a married person.
Sex is for pleasure, procreation, unity and expression of marital love. Sex, when done regularly and well, spices up your marriage, brings bonding, takes away stress and makes you glow.
(C) Matthew ‘Femi-Adedoyin
Asaba, Delta, Nigeria.